Samuel Daniels

Welcome back, esteemed Paisans!

I began this series to bring out the various hidden treasures of dreams. In my previous blogs, I discussed why we dream and the spiritual meaning of forgetting dreams. I continue in this blog by showing you how to break spiritual marriages. Let’s kick start!

Historical Precedence of Spiritual Marriage

It is worth mentioning that the term “spiritual marriage” is remarkably different from how it was used centuries ago and how it is used today, particularly from the African viewpoint.

The early Christian and medieval usage of “spiritual marriage” involved a husband and a wife mutually and voluntarily relinquishing sexual activity for reasons of piety [1].

I stated in a previous blog that Christians in the second century typically approached sexual matters in an ascetic-leaning way.

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Clement of Alexandria for instance said that sexual activity did have a place in the Christian life, but only insofar as it was ordered toward procreation early in marriage, and then with “dignified motions”. He even encouraged Christians to give up sexual activity as the marriage progressed in years so that the spouses might better contemplate God [2].

St. Augustine and other early Church Fathers struggled to overcome the clash between their belief in the necessity to transcend bodily desires and the need for sex to perpetuate the Christian flock. While affirming marriage, they at the same time espoused chastity as the highest spiritual ideal. For St. Augustine, a good Christian loved the ‘woman that God created…while he hates the corruptible and mortal relationship and marital intercourse’. Early Church Fathers were troubled by the ‘corruptions of the flesh’ even within marriage, and promoted ideals of ‘spiritual marriage’ and transcendence of carnal cravings through sexual continence [3].

The term “Spiritual Marriage” therefore was used by the early Church to represent the commitment married couples made by abstaining from sex to engage in spiritual activities. This concept has greatly evolved over the centuries. Invariable, there is a sharp contrast between this ideal of spiritual marriage and how it is perceived in our world today, particularly in Africa.

“Spiritual marriage” as used by Africans is perceived as sexual activities that take place in a dream when one sleeps. At a glance, this idea sounds superstitious. But upon closer look, there is more to engage as food for thought. I would like to begin by doing ontological reflections on this subject. First and foremost, we are told in the book of Job that:

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them [4].

The “sons of God” as used here represents “angels.” The New International Version  (NIV) says it explicitly: “One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them”. Also, New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) renders the same verse as “heavenly beings”. All other versions of the bible agree to the fact that the beings who appeared before God were spirits.

Now, in Genesis 6:1-4, we are told:

When people began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that they were fair; and they took wives for themselves of all that they chose. Then the Lord said, “My spirit shall not abide in mortals forever, for they are flesh; their days shall be one hundred twenty years.”  The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. These were the heroes that were of old, warriors of renown.

The “sons of God” here refers to angels or spirit-beings, who were taken by the beauty of the “daughters of men” and took them as wives. This was the origin of “spiritual marriage” as perceived by Africans. Some people are of the view that these spirits were part of the fallen angels; the one-third of the heavenly host who sided with Lucifer to oppose the sovereignty of God, and hence were thrown down to the earth [5]. God saw this act of the spirit-beings as a great rebellion, hence He put them in chains. The Bible says,

And the angels who did not keep their own position, but left their proper dwelling, He has kept in eternal chains in deepest darkness for the judgment of the great day [5].

These scriptural references affirm the possibility of supernatural beings having sexual relations with humans. There are numerous instances of women who were pregnant and had dreams of having sex just to wake up to realise they had miscarried. Many people recount going through some particular unpleasant situations anytime they had sex in dreams. These and others are the reasons why we need to be cognisant of this concept.

Jesus Christ, in giving the proper interpretations to the word of God, said,

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” [6]

Until here, sex was only seen as sex when it was engaged physically. But Jesus buttressed the fact that action was a product of motive. Every action begins first with a thought. The Pharisees believed and actually taught people that sex could only happen in the flesh. Contrary to their belief, Jesus established that sex could also be in the realm of the soul. Since the human soul is made up of the mind, the will, and the emotions. This is why attempted murder is seen as an equally great offence. 

Sex actually creates a soul-tie. 1 Corinthians 6:16 asserts,

Do you not know that whoever is united to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For it is said, “The two shall be one flesh.”

Reasons for Sexual Dreams

There are two main reasons that may precipitate sexual intercourse in a dream. I established in a previous blog that dreams emanate from one of three sources; God, the soul, and the devil. When a dream is in the realm of the soul, it is simply a reflection of the remains in your subconscious mind. Dreaming is a normal part of human brain function when in a deep sleep state. Sights, sounds, smells, and other sensory stimuli from the day provide the raw materials from which our brains create natural dreams [7].

When people have sexual images in their subconscious mind, it is most likely to play back to them while they are asleep. Much as it was a dream, some people wake up with a deep sense of guilt and regret. Some even feel weak and depressed throughout the day.

Illicit Sexual Thoughts

Needless to say, it is more likely for those who engage in pornography or illicit sexual thoughts to have sexual dreams, and that can become an opening in their lives for a demonic affliction. This is so because Satan is an accuser, he always looks for reasons to launch a raid against believers. 

Ecclesiastes 10:8 says, “whoever breaks through a wall will be bitten by a serpent”. Jesus said, “for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me [8].” The only reason why Satan couldn’t conquer Jesus was because he found nothing in Him to accuse Him. The Bible again says, “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” [9]. Those who fill their minds with sexual images and thoughts can easily become victims of sexual dreams.

Cast it Down

One may ask “how do I deal with sexual dreams that come as a result of what I have stored in my mind?” Apostle Paul said,

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. [10]

Well, the only way to deal with this kind of sexual dreams is to get rid of those sexual images from your mind. Shun away from any sexual material that will serve as a raw material for those dreams. Override those already in your mind with the word of God. Thankfully God’s word is very efficacious to do this task. The Bible says,

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. [10a]

Sexual dreams as a result of demonic activity

The next sexual dreams I want to discuss are those which happen as a result of demonic activities. Again, I established in a previous blog that demonic dreams are those that originate from demonic sources. The same way demonic spirits can bond with human beings and use them in the area of sorcery and magic, spirits can have sexual relations with human vessels. 

Spouses usually express jealousy for their partners, similarly, these spirits can also be jealous and oppose anyone who comes close to their ‘partners’. Usually, those who engage in such spiritual marriages find it extremely difficult to have a normal marriage or relationship. There are people who have dreams on several occasions and have sex with a particular person in the dream, such that they can even make the person out when they should encounter him/her physically. This is a classical example of demonic spiritual marriages. 

Such people need to first repent and ask the Holy Spirit of truth to fill the space they have created for such evil spirits. Exorcism is usually required to fully expel the spirits and break their strongholds. 

Conclusion

African spirituality is a holistic concept that stemmed from the historical, cultural, and religious heritage of Africa, and includes among others, beliefs and culture. African spiritualities must be understood as originating from Africa’s soil but also developed through contact with people from other countries and continents [11].

Spiritual marriages are sexual and marital relations that occur when one is asleep. In the African viewpoint, this can be grouped into two categories; soulish sexual dreams and demonic sexual dreams.

Soulish sexual dreams occur as a result of sexual images and other sensory stimuli in the subconscious of the person.

Demonic sexual dreams on the other hand occur as a result of a demonic tie between a person and an evil spirit. It is worth mentioning, that when soulish sexual dreams are not dealt with, they can become demonic sexual dreams.

Thank you for stopping by. Watch out for my next blog in this series. Subscribe to my newsletter from below, and get notified of new posts. You may also drop a comment or question in the comment section below.

References

[1] Dyan Elliott, Spiritual Marriage: Sexual Abstinence in Medieval Wedlock (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1993), 1

[2] Richard, W. McCarty, Sexual Virtue: An Approach to Contemporary Christian Ethics, (Albany: University of New York Press, 2015), 21

[3] Stephen Garton, Histories of Sexuality: Antiquity To Sexual Revolution, (London: Equinox Publishing Ltd., 2006), 63

[4] Job 1:6

[5] Revelation 12:7-12

[6] Matthew 5:27-28

[7] James W. and Michal Ann Goll, Dream Language: The Prophetic Power of Dreams, Revelations and the Spirit of Wisdom,                        (Shippensburg: Destiny Image Publishers, 2006), 29

[8] John 14:30 (KJV)

[9] Proverbs 23:7 (KJV)

[10] 2 Corinthians 10:5

[10a] Hebrews 4:12

[11] Johannes J. Knoetze, “African spiritual phenomena and the probable influence on African families”, accessed on January 19, 2022.     DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.4102/ids.v53i4.2505

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